INTERFAITH MARRIAGES: AN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE

CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:  There are several passages and verses in The Holy Qur'an regarding marriage and family that encourage Muslims to be married, if possible. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has even said that when a Muslim marries, he has fulfilled half of the religious devotion and duties and then he should take care of other half by being God-minded and aware of his obligations. 

Marriage is considered a religious duty in Islam and is enjoined upon all believers who can afford it. It provides a moral safeguard and legal means to develop relationship with the opposite sex and to extend the family. It is both solemn and sacred above physical terms. It is not only a contract between two persons committing themselves to eachother but it is a contract to which God Almighty is made the first Witness. It is made with every intention of making it permanent to the eternal success. Celibacy is NOT recommended either for Muslim men or women.[1]

"The motivating cause of union – matrimonial (metramoniyal) and carnal - between the spouses is said to be love. This is a Qur'anic thesis that affirms the primacy of love as the cause of marriage, not simple reproduction.  Nevertheless, the religious authorities, almost unanimously (yunanimisli), interpret marriage as primarily reproductive in nature and as a means of perpetuating the species.

.....Islam views the carnal act as not merely the source of pleasure but also of as a source of "barakah" means that sexuality has a positive connotations and is not associated with sin,.."[2]

The following issues must be observed when a marriage based on Islamic principles is desired [3]:

- Both parties should get familiarized sincerely with eachother without getting involved in immoral acts or crossing  boundaries set by Islamic moral teachings. No party should attempt to deceive the other in this process.

- Woman should be chosen on the basis of their permanent values, such as, high morals, religious devotion, and not merely on her attractiveness or other mundane wealths.  The Prophet is reported to have said that a woman is ordinarily sought as wife for her wealth, for her beauty, for the nobility of her stock, or for her religious qualities; but blessed and fortunate is he who chooses his mate for piety in preference to everything else. [4]

- Woman is encouraged to judge whether the man is actually worthy of her respect, love and capable of providing her happiness in the whole life.  She should consider if her marriage to the man will allow her to fulfill the duties of a wife wholeheartedly.

- Woman has a right to demand dowry (davri) (gift) from the man that she feel comfortable with. The man should meet  her demands to show his willingness to undertake to responsibilities of married life and his readiness and capability to  fulfill her justified needs.

- The consent of both man and woman is necessary condition for the marriage without which the marriage is not valid.

- The marriage ceremony should be made as publicly known as possible and should be celebrated in a joyful manner.

- The marriage ceremony should be held before at least two adult witnesses from the community and should be registered  in official documents.

- The maintenance of the wife and family is husband's duty. The marriage entitles her with these rights and imposes certain obligations upon both parties. Any property which belongs to her before or during the marriage, the man has no right to the wife's property during or after the marriage.  This issue relieves the marriage of certain materialistic objectives and ensures the bond remain noble and beyond mundane greed.

The role of husband demands him to be bound by the promise to God to be kind and patient toward her; to keep her honorably in the marriage or otherwise free her from the martial bond honorably.[ Ref. Surah 2:229-232; 4:19]

The wife is expected to work toward the happiness and comfort of her family.  Wife must be sincere toward the family and honest and loyal to her husband.  She should not deliberately avoid conception against her husband's will [1].  Both spouses should keep eachother's honor and protect and gratify eachother with love.

When a marriage based on Islamic principles has irreconcilable differences or irreparable damage done to the mutual trust,  then as a last resort to make the distasteful marriage end, divorce is applicable. Divorce has been defined by the Prophet  as the most detestable of all lawful things in the sight of God Almighty. Scholars believe a final course must be followed  before a divorce is made final[5]:

- Both parties involved should try to reconcile the difference, settle the disputes and solve the problems within themselves.

- If they fail to come to an agreement and solve their problems, then a person from husband's relations and the other one from wife's should arbitrate the situation.  - If both attempts fail and

both parties agree, divorce can be applied.  - If after a divorce, a reunion occurs, it will be regarded as a fresh marriage. However, there can be no more than two reunions. The third divorce is a final one. In that case, the only possibility is that the woman need to marry another man after "iddat" (varies from 3-12 monthly periods for diff. opinions; See Surah 2:228), consummate the marriage and get divorced and remarry the first husband again after "iddat." (See 2:30).  It allows a man to be thoughtful and composed in such serious matters and the marriage with another man allows a woman to evaluate if there are other men better than her first husband that she would like to be married.  There is no compulsion in her getting divorced

from the second husband, if she likes him better than the first one.  

In conclusion, The marriage is even within same faith group very difficult ritual and responsibility to practice and the success of the marriage might vary from person to person. Therefore, it would be impossible to make clear cut statement about interfaith marriages. What’s so important is establishing healthy and functional family life and eventually contributing to society by nurturing wonderful generation.

References:

2;221: And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

5:5 : This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste (chaset) women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.